Things I Love #3

So here’s another entry in the Things I Love series:

Color color color color color

I also love my journal. And I love finding an image to put on the front of the journal that encapsulates what’s going on inside the pages.

Here’s the journal I just completed:

Here’s what the inside of the card (which is now on the inside front cover) says:

It took me ten years to complete this journal because it was a rather expensive sketch book that I didn’t want to fill with anything ugly so I saved the journal for ‘special’ reflective, exploratory musings and used an ordinary scribbler for my morning pages where I (quite aptly) scribbled the first things that bubbled up in those foggy first moments of the day and who wants their journal to be filled with grumpy, complainy ‘I-don’t-want-to-get-out-of-bed whinefests?

Last week, I started a new journal:

I have no idea what that front cover illustration represents, but I love it. I found it during my autumn road trip in the enchanting store called Through the Looking Glass in Nelson, BC (a place which took a few copies of Leaf I might add). There was no message on the inside of the card so I guess I can make this journal about anything I want. The name of the illustration, however, is “Exodus” and it was painted by Kate Dawidziak. Hmmm. Exodus. I wonder where this journal will take me.

Anyway . . . I decided I wanted this stretch myself a little bit further with this journal and actually do some sketching in it. So here’s my first sketch.

Oh, wait. You need to hear the story behind the sketch first.

As I mentioned here, I’m trying to figure out just who or what God is to me and hopefully forge a relationship with Hir. Last week, a friend suggested that I randomly open up the book called A Course in Miracles and see what message there might be for me. Here’s my message for today:

Seek and find His message in the holy instant, where all illusions are forgiven. From there the miracle extends to bless everyone and to resolve all problems, be they perceived as great or small, possible or impossible. (16:11)

And this means what exactly?

I pondered this for awhile in my journal, listing all the ‘illusions’ I operate under in this life of mine, including the illusion that my children should obey me, that my husband or my sons should be different from who they are in order to fulfill my ‘illusion’ of who they should be. Which extends to include all the people I know or meet who I think should be this way or that way in order to fulfill the picture I have of what is good and right. And it goes even further to include all the judgements I have of everything that happens to me.

Did you catch that?

everything that happens TO me

that gave me pause and here’s the sketch that arrived in that pause:

What if the path we walk in this world is straight and green and beautiful, but because we are so loaded down with our ‘illusions’ of what should be or our deep-seated beliefs about what we deserve or the way the world works that we see everything through a personal filter that skews all that is good and true and beautiful to make it hard and dark and torturous?

What if that heavy load we think we’re carrying is really a wonderful, glowing harvest moon shining brightly to light our path?

Well, I guess it is a ‘harvest’ moon, because we reap what we sow, do we not? We see what we want to see. We perceive the world the way we have chosen to perceive the world.

* * *

Sometimes I love the way the universe works.

The phone rang as was writing this post. I don’t normally answer when I’m writing, but I did and it was a woman from a Christmas market I had been a part of. It was a very long day – almost 12 hours – and I got more and more sick with the flu as the day progressed. When I finally crawled home to my bed that night (where I remained for the next 10 days), I was certain that Leaf had done very poorly at that market, that people came looking for art-y things, not books, and therefore it was really stupid of me to even think that my book would do well. It served me right for wasting all that time and energy.

I just found out that, minus credit card charges, $349.76 worth of Leaf books and notecards were sold that day.

Best market sales this year.

Go figure.

Another illusion shattered, just like that.

So how do I lift my head from this tricky road I trod the vast majority of the time to see how straight and true the path before me really is?

How do I transform this self-induced heavy load into the glowing harvest opportunity it actually represents?

I guess if I knew the answers to these questions and especially if I could LIVE the answers to these questions, I wouldn’t be asking them would I? I’d be so enlightened that I’d have transcended this earthly plane long ago.

Or not.

Oh well, at least I have my lovely journal and multicolored pens to explore it all.

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