The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Month Two

When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror?

Really looked.

I don’t mean that cursory glance at your reflection to make sure everything’s acceptable before you head out the door.

Or that critical inspection of wrinkles or sags or blemishes.

When was the last time you looked past the imperfections and into your own eyes?

And if you are one of those rare souls who actually has looked deeply into your own eyes, have you dared to take the next step and proclaim your love?

Not for your partner or your child or your pet or your latest infatuation or even for life, but for yourself?

I’d be willing to bet a lot of money that you have never done that.

Me neither.

And the thought of doing it makes me want to run for the hills.

It’s just . . . weird.

But that’s where our exploration lies this month, in that intersecting space where our eyes meet and we whisper words of love.

To ourselves.

So just how big is your resistance?

When Cheryl Richardson was told by Louise Hay, author of one of the first and most long-lasting self-help books ever written, You Can Heal Your Life, that learning to love oneself [is] a prerequisite to attracting joy, abundance, wellness, meaningful experiences, and the like she thought she better listen. After all, self-love and self-acceptance are the foundations of Extreme Self-Care.

That didn’t make it any easier for her to practice. In fact, she resisted the mirror work for some time, ‘forgetting’ to do it day after day.

Much like myself.

I tried to do the mirror exercise the first time I read this book.


I, too, ‘forgot’ to do it day after day and, if I did remember, there was huge, and I mean HUGE resistance which meant it still didn’t get done.

Until now.

Please join me.

I know it sounds bizarre, kitschy, new agey – fill in the blank with your disdainful adjective of choice, but there’s got to be something to it. Why else would we feel such huge resistance?

It’s much easier to make ourselves do a writing practice or an exercise regime or follow a new diet or unclutter our homes (or even divorce our partners) than it is to deeply see and unconditionally love ourselves.

Come to think of it, those things aren’t easy to do either. Maybe all our attempts at self (or life) improvement would go much easier – or maybe even end for good – if we could just love ourselves enough to stand tall and speak the words we long to hear into our own waiting eyes.

So even if it is corny-beyond-imagining, do it anyway.

Okay – here goes.

Mirror, mirror on the wall . . . 

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2 Responses to The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Month Two

  1. Marina says:

    I dunno… trying this might be just too weird. For sure I’m going to keep the bathroom/bedroom door shut! Wouldn’t want to be caught in the act.
    (Thanks, Max, another thought-provoking blog!)

  2. maxinespence says:

    It IS weird! I wish Cheryl Richardson would have put this chapter nearer the end of the twelve month process. This is so near the beginning that a lot of people might bail!

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