So . . . in February, we embarked on a twelve month journey in The Art of Extreme Self-Care as beautifully presented by Cheryl Richardson.
Month One went pretty well.
Month Two is proving to be a little more challenging.
Who knew it could be so hard to proclaim your love for yourself to yourself?
Two things happen, without fail, whenever Yours Truly proclaims anything: A) people/books/experiences show up to help me in my quest and B) the exact opposite of what I have proclaimed shows up. (To help me in my quest?)
Case in point:
Let’s back up a couple of weeks. I am on Day 7 of Self-love Proclamation.
In the interest of complete transparency, I need to admit that I am actually on Day 37 of Self-love Proclamation. I knew this was going to be a huge challenge for me so I started early. To iron out the bugs before I walked the path with you. Or something.
Anyway, in the First Week of the Second Month of the Mirror Exercise, I was drawn back to the Vimala Alphabet (see A above).
I have shared some of my Adventures in Vimala Land here and here. If you recall, transcribing the letters is like a meditation that Vimala invites us to do in 40 day cycles. Last May (oy! was that a whole year ago?) I embarked on a 40 day cycle that consisted of the Letter M (which is all about letting go of control) and the Letter F (which involves making a difference in the world by “expressing our talents fully, in service to humanity, with no attachment to the results of our actions.”)
Do you think maybe invoking those two things might have stirred up some stuff?
Maybe some resistance?
I gamely picked up the pen again, made it 4 days, fell off and stuttered along like that — starting, stopping, starting again — until November. I restarted my 40 Day commitment to M and F no less than sixteen times!
And then I got really, really, really, really, really sick.
And I gave up.
Fast forward six months to May, 2012. I’ve committed to the Extreme Self-Care Mirror Exercise and have invited Vimala’s meditations on the alphabet into my life again.
Why not? Can’t hurt. Might help.
So, I’m dutifully saying the words “I love you, Maxine” whenever I look in the mirror — and feeling mighty uncomfortable, I might add — and I start Day One of releasing control (again-sigh) with
and (because I think I need to build some more muscle before I can tackle Vimala’s F again – it was incredibly challenging to write – and because the H really spoke to me this time)
And then promptly proceeded to splatter myself against the Upper Limit ceiling I told you about last week. (See B above.)
Once I realized what had happened, I regrouped and decided I needed some help in the self-love department and added:
I am happy to report that I am on Day 8 of inscribing these three letters (one fifth of the way through the practice). I am loving my morning meditation with M, H and especially P and, I’m not sure, but I think I might be a titch more receptive when I whisper sweet nothings to myself in the mirror.
I’ll let you know when we
finally happily make it to arrive at the end of this month’s exploration.