Please begin by rereading last week’s post.
I so wanted you to hear the ‘rest of the story’ — the story that prompted last week’s post — Candy’s story. The true power of last week’s message lies in her words so I asked if she would be willing to share her experience with a wider audience.
And she said yes!
My screen is blurry as I type these words. Yes, I’m in tears . . . again. Her story profoundly touched me last week and continues to move me no matter how many times I read it.
Candy has — correction — Candy is a beautiful soul. Everything about her, from her warm, laughing eyes to her twinkling observations to the wisdom that emanates from her pores is an invitation to bask in acceptance and love. It is a joy to be in her presence. And I am so tickled that she has agreed to share this tender story with you.
And if it touches you, please share it. Maybe, if we’re lucky, she’ll step a little further into her story-telling power and start her own blog!
Have you sought for signs and answers, from God, the Angels, a medium or intuitive healer, trusted friends or family, thru prayer, a yoga practice, meditation, books, or maybe Google?
Me too: many times, seeking, questioning, and searching.
Oct 6, 2014 I desperately needed a sign, an answer. A heartbreaking decision was made. With the assistance of a compassionate veterinarian and his assistant we said goodbye to Scooter, our 16 year old family dog.
We’d prayed for a sign that it was time. Allowing her to suffer a painful illness was out of the question. We feared a traumatic end, a strong possibility for a deaf, nearly blind, farm dog who couldn’t quit working cows or trotting alongside machinery. Her self-appointed job was looking out for her family, watching over the grandkids at the river, teaching the other family dogs their manners, keeping the wildlife at bay. She asked only that we love her. And we did.
I found her that day, unable to walk; the light had dimmed from her eyes. It was time, or was it?
I made the vet call and then waited. Tears streaming, we laid with Scooter, saying the name of every family member who loved her, invoking their spirit and petting her just for them. She never raised her head but her ears perked as I said each name and she relaxed into the loving caress they would have offered.
Time passed. I began to doubt.
I’ve read that to truly know grief, one must have first known great love.
This I know to be true. We have known both, intimately. Deep sorrowful grief has been a part of our lives; it no longer rules us, but revisiting it on this day, slammed me back. Hard.
I called out in my heart to our angel son, Danny, the young man who had brought this beautiful dog home, just 9 months before he lost his battle with cancer in 1999. I prayed for his loving guidance. Scooter was ours to love for all these years, but she was always Danny’s dog.
I needed a sign, an answer. Were we doing the right thing?
As she rested, I left her briefly and mindlessly went to the computer, searching, for what?
An answer, a sign, or just filling the emptiness of grief with “something”.
I clicked on a random Facebook link that appeared to be about yoga and bam!
Right there on my screen, nothing else but a cartoon of Calvin and Hobbes in a hug.
Danny LOVED Calvin and Hobbes, the cartoon about navigating life and an enduring friendship between a rascally boy and his imaginary tiger.
He owned the entire collection and delighted in recreating and re-telling his favorites. For a few years after Danny died, I got a daily dose of Calvin and Hobbes in my inbox, but address changes and with the advent of newer social media connections, it faded away.
And here it was, out of the “ether.”
The only message that could have been clearer would have been Danny’s voice.
A boy and his pet together, my sign, the answer.
I shared this tale of love and loss with the Wise Women of Yoga, and while being held so tenderly in that open heart space of support and compassion, Yvonne Werkmann reminded us in our search for “answers and signs” to remember who we truly are and I quote Maxine’s blog of last week:
The Divine is not something outside of ourselves, but within us. WE ARE DIVINE! And the purpose of ‘yoga in every moment’ is to bring us closer to that knowledge and to living from that place of deep knowing and trust.
It was a peaceful goodbye. We miss them both deeply but a boy and his dog together again, that is a very good answer. ￼
I am delighted to say, I re-discovered Calvin and Hobbes on Facebook. You can find them at The Official Calvin and Hobbes Facebook Page, run by Bill Watterson’s syndicate. Read the comic daily for FREE @ http://calvinandhobbes.com/